We all love being the center of attention, don’t we?
Most
men want to know their women are beautiful. Most women want to know
their men have value. Learn how to create social value in yourself, and
the ladies will become MUCH more attracted to you even before you
display any other seductive characteristics.
Fame: What’s it good for?
Before dealing with physical strategies, I want to talk for a second about
fame.
I know, this really separates me from the rest of the world, but dare to be
different I say.
Fame is a major turn-on, for BOTH men and women. Why?
Well, let me tell you, the reasons are ENTIRELY different. For men, fame
works if the woman is famous for her BEAUTY. If she’s a famous scientist, say,
that doesn’t count. She has to be a universally recognized knockout. Get
together with her, and not only are you the MAN for beating out so many other
comers, but you KNOW she stunning. That’s what made her famous.
For women, it’s the social STATUS that comes from being famous. The respect,
the dominance – the fact that you can skip the lines at shows, that you get
preferential treatment, that you can show her worlds that regular guys can’t –
which is the turn-on. You COULD be a famous politician, ugly as sin, but
because you get free tickets to the opera, hey, that’s good enough.
That would never work on a man.
These sorts of things are HARDWIRED into us. Exactly what the
hunter-gatherers were doing is hard to say for sure, but take a look at
monkeys.
Of Alphas and Men
Chimpanzees are fiercely dominant and territorial. There’s one alpha male
who gets to have sex with pretty much everyone. All the other males have to
stay out of his way, if they’re even allowed to HANG OUT with the group.
It’s not unusual for the alpha male to literally squeeze the testicles off
of a challenger. Out of respect for the victims, I’m foregoing all ball-busting
jokes here.
If you’re a female chimp, who do you think you’re going to wind up going
for? The alpha, who’ll at least take care of the group, or Mr.
Soon-to-be-Castrated, who even if he has sex with you and gets you pregnant,
those kids’ll just be killed by the alpha when they’re born?
The nature of the chimp selects those having sex with the alpha. Ultimately
–with human rationalizing when you get to us – you go from HAVING to have sex
with him to WANTING to.
Nice to know that we humans aren’t the only screwed-up things on the planet.
That sets the stage.
Of Orgies and Men
But then there’s also the bonobo monkey, a lesser-known primate that’s
almost as close to us as chimps. And these guys play with different rules.
They aren’t violent, for the most part. They live in a matriarchal society,
and there really ISN’T an alpha system like elsewhere in nature. Instead,
female bonobo have sex in exchange for protection and provisions.
Sometimes bonobo are literally having sex with the males holding bananas in
their hands, promising to hand them over once they get their rocks off.
Sound familiar?
So which way are we programmed? Both ways.
Women are turned on by dominant alpha men. It triggers their lust, from all
the THOUSANDS of years that women have had sex with dominant men.
And women are also turned on by men who can provide. It triggers their nesting
instinct, their need for security and protection and, um, food.
The bonobo have a problem though. When you live in a world where women want
monogamy AND it’s matriarchal AND gives a rational choice to the women about
sex, merely showing yourself a provider isn’t going to work often.
The bonobo have sex all the time with everyone, so it can work.
How’s it all translate to us?
Humans don’t, so you wind up in a courtship that lasts months or years, with
a woman who can always choose another provider. You aren’t triggering her
emotion, but her logic, as a bonobo male.
Plus, most women aren’t walking around hungry for a banana. If only it were
that easy.
The chimp alpha system, however, isn’t logical. It’s primal. Emotional. And
the underlying understanding of chimp society is women don’t have the choice.
They NEED to have sex with the alpha.
When you get to the complex level of humans, this need becomes ATTRACTION.
Alright, let’s bring it home.
If the thousands of years of evolution have conspired to make women
attracted to dominant males, how do WE become that?
Aside from castrating others I mean.
CREATE
social value in yourself
Believe it or not, the process is pretty simple. And it all starts with
relaxed confidence. Remaining playful because you’re comfortable in your skin.
Secure in yourself.
Outside signs can be created, as well. Become friendly with doormen, get to
the point where you can say “Hey Jimmy” and walk past the throngs and through
the velvet rope at a few clubs.
Get to know maitre-des who can bring you in through the kitchen to a table
reserved at a hot hard-to-enter restaurant.
Sound hard to do? It’s not – it just takes a little friendliness to the
right people. Become friends with them, and you get the preferential treatment
that says you’re an alpha.
When you’re in a group, remember that YOUR opinion is the one that matters
most.
That’s where a lot of people get messed up – they think the alpha has to be
the focal point, because he often is.
THAT’S not the key, though. Try too hard, and you come off as an insecure
attention starved spotlight hog. The point isn’t to be the LOUDEST or to say
the MOST, but to have the trend-setting opinion, which starts with believing in
yourself. And NOT caring if others follow – they will, but not if they feel you
forcing them.
If a scene-stealer comes in and tries to ruin your game, a simple eye roll
and relocation – “Let’s go get a drink.” – is MUCH more powerful than entering
into a limelight fight. It says you’re confident, in control of the situation,
AND in a position of power, from which you can communicate “This is no fun,
let’s find something that is.” You LEAD. People will follow.
And you don’t have to maim a soul.
A LITTLE arrogance can communicate that power as well, much better than some
Neanderthal brawl.
So how do you compete with the famous, and trigger the lust that their power
does?
Make Your Circle
You create a circle within which YOU are a star. You get the good table and
the chef comes to it and makes off-the-menu dishes. The DJ requests a request
from you. And your friends reinforce the aura of importance that travels around
with you.
If you’re starting from scratch,it can take awhile to build a complete
circle. Once it’s there, though, women will respond to it. POWERFULLY.
There’s nothing like being popular to increase popularity.
And the little ball busting you do is of the non-violent, playful variety.
From there, getting to WANT to translate your social value into sexual
action is a MUCH simpler step. ACT powerful, and you BECOME powerful. And power
on a man is sexy.
If you want to learn more about how to use social value intelligently to
attract the women you’ve always desired, check out my latest course, Click Here. It lays out, from start
to finish, the entire process of seduction… from meeting a woman all the way to
what you have to do to get her to your bedroom.
