A
lot of guys get uneasy at the idea of meeting an eye-catching woman because
they don't know what to expect. That is due to a lack of practice. As you get
more relaxed learning how to approach women, you will start to understand how
similar women are, and you'll develop standard ways to prevail over their
objections or make them laugh by teasing them or engaging them in an remarkable
manner. And, more generally, you'll develop an ease and comfort with other
people -even strangers - that will convert nicely into a confidence that women
find alluring.
Maybe
you've heard some of the advice out there in the dating and seduction community
-things like the 3-second rule and approaching with high energy. Those are good
techniques. But, of course, both can fail: what if you can't get to her in
three seconds for some reason? What if you're in a low key environment that
makes a "high energy" approach strange?
Overall,
I think it makes sense to meet a woman immediately upon seeing her to avoid a
mental "psyche-out" or so you can act before the circumstances
changes, making her less accessible. Of course, I've often observed a woman for
a time only to see her boyfriend emerge from a bathroom or come through the
door. There's no harm in ever approaching a single woman, however, because how
were you supposed to know? Also, I think that if a shy guy needs to boost his
confidence by invoking a "high energy" state, that can possibly work.
However, it may just amplify his anxiety, making the situation even more uncomfortable.
Or, his efforts may seem so forced or frantic that the woman is turned off. Test
these and other techniques that the "seduction guys" promote.
As
a person who's slept with many many women and has learned how to approach women,
I'll tell you there's only one certain method of eliminating approach anxiety:
volume. Human beings are learning organisms and we learn to adapt to situations
if we're given repeated attempts at a task. It's no different here. If you can
handle some rebuffs (perhaps many) you'll eventually learn the subtleties of
what works and what doesn't. Eventually, interacting with a beautiful woman
will become your duty and very natural. That's not to say all will yield to
your charm, but you'll feel entitled to and compelled to approach attractive
women.
A
final tip: a mental "psyche up" can get you in front of her - "I
know I can! I know I can!" -but that's just the beginning. If your natural
state isn't "charming, flirty" then you'll slide back to your default
personality. And, the only way to develop the personality that attracts women -
a carefree and funny attitude - is to really develop it, by putting in the
miles, with many women.
So
get out there and start learning how to pick up women.I'll tell you this: twenty cold approaches to
women will teach you more than most dating books ever could.
